Building Positive Relationships at Work
Building Positive Relationships at Work
Hey everyone! Today blog post is one that was highly requested for first year teacher and one that is so crucial for a positive job experience. Whether you are student teaching, a first year teacher, or you’ve been teaching for a while, this is an aspect of the workplace that is a constant. Sometimes, we get super lucky and are surrounded by the most wonderful and easy-going coworkers, which can really make your days as a teacher that much better. But in all honesty, sometimes it just doesn’t work out that way; sometimes we have to manage situations that are less than ideal or deal with colleagues that are difficult to work with. In this blog post, I am going to address how to make friends at work and share tips to build those initial connections with others that will hopefully blossom into wonderful and healthy work relationships. I will also touch on how to manage the not-so-fun situations we sometimes find ourselves in.
Tip #1: Make Friends at Work
This first tip is a little thing I like to call ‘friendship’. No matter where you work, getting to know your coworkers on a personal level and making friendships at work is going to make any job easier and more comfortable for you. If you can, think back to a time when you may have been working a part time job or were involved in a big group project in college. How did the project go? How was your relationship with those people? Can you remember a time when you did something along those same lines, but were friends with or were at least acquainted with the people you were working with? Was your work or project easier when you were friends with your colleagues? For me, It definitely was. It made a huge difference, and building relationships with other teachers in your building will have the same effect. I’m not sure if you’ve heard or seen other teachers share about their work fam, but when coworkers become friends and friends become like family, you’re going to feel unstoppable and it’s going to make going to work never seem like work!
When I accepted my first teaching position, I didn’t know a single person in the building. Luckily, before the school year began, the school hosted a staff get-together. It was themed as one of those popular paint-and-wine events, and I was terrified to attend. Who would I sit with? What would wear? And let’s not forget that I am just about the least artistic person you know. Well, long story short, I convinced myself to go, and that decision may have just made my work experience one hundred times easier and more enjoyable than if I hadn’t gone. There were two other first year teachers that attended as well, so we stuck together, and the rest is history. We became fast friends, carpooling to school, prepping our classrooms together over the summer, and by the time school started I already felt comfortable just knowing that I had a friend in the building. It truly, it made all the difference.
#2: Get to Know Your Coworkers
If you’re currently teaching virtually, like so many of us, and you’re looking for ways to build relationships with your colleagues, you can still connect virtually and safely! Some of you may be thinking “How do I communicate with coworkers?”, especially during this unprecedented time in our history. Know that there are lots of options!
Taking a leap of faith may be required, but here are some ideas:
Set up a virtual coffee date.
Have some team building time.
Before your next virtual meeting begins, go out on a limb and ask about someone’s weekend, favorite lessons, or current Netflix binge.
Getting to know what TV shows or movies people like, can often help tell more about their personality and give you something to bond over!
You really can’t go wrong with any of these! Most people love to be asked questions about themselves, and we all know teachers especially, love to talk!
Try to find your people. I promise, it makes your job so much easier. Having people to talk to when you’re struggling, people to bounce ideas off of and even friends to head to happy hour with after a crazy day of teaching, is essential. The only way to find the people you connect best with is to put yourself out there!
Tip #3: Exchange Numbers
What, in your opinion, is less anxiety-inducing? Receiving a text message from a college or an email?
Email has its place in the world, but nobody wants to communicate strictly through that platform, especially when you feel like you have to sign your name at the end of every message. Exchanging numbers allows you the ability to send quick texts to your coworkers . You never know when you might need to contact them, even if you haven’t established a close friendship with them just yet. Texting is easier, and honestly, less awkward. Nobody wants to send an email when all you need to know is if there is a staff meeting Tuesday or Wednesday, and I guarantee none of you want to send an email to invite a coworker for coffee! A text message is also more likely to be noticed and responded to in an emergency. So, don’t be shy about suggesting an exchange! Who knows, you might wake up panicked some morning wondering if it’s pajama day, because trust me, you do not want to show up in your pajamas on the wrong day! Also - if you’re running late because there was an accident or something came up, you’ll definitely want to call your coworker quick to see if they can cover for you!
Tip #4: Start a Social Media Group
Some of my younger audience may be cringing at the mention of facebook, however, it is a great platform for creating private groups where communication can be quick and simple. Group texts can get messy and information gets lost within the endless scrolling and inside jokes. A facebook page is more organized, searchable, and it can be a great way to share ideas, communicate important information and ask questions. You can even name your group and write a description for the purpose of your page. For example, if you want a more professional space where work topics are discussed, that’s one option. However, you could also make a page that is specifically for you and your coworkers to make plans outside school or plan get-togethers. At the school I previously worked at, we had a Facebook page called “Lady (school mascot)” and it was such a great place to share ideas, plan events such as our annual cookie exchange, post outfit ideas for spirit days, etc. It really was a great was to stay connected and build relationships, especially since our building was so big and I often would go weeks without seeing some of them.
Tip #5: Support Each Other
This tip is a bit of a no-brainer, but, in my opinion, is one of the most important! We all want to feel supported and encouraged, especially in our times of need. Be that voice of encouragement and a compassionate ear for your colleagues. Encourage their ideas and endeavors. Help them brainstorm when they are feeling mentally stuck. Support each other in any way you can. We all know the key to teaching is working smarter, not harder. There are endless responsibilities and items on our to do list, so, whenever possible, share your ideas and resources with others. Not only will your colleagues be super grateful for your help and support, but they will want to continue working with you. This will lighten the load for both of you, and you will gain support for yourself by giving support to another. And honestly, that’s the beauty of teaching.
Tip #6: Spend Time Together
One of the easiest ways to make friends at work is to simply spend time with them. Attend sporting or club events together after school, or have lunch with teachers who fill your cup. Ask if anyone would be interested in joining a staff intramural sports league, trivia team or having a craft night. You could even host a movie night or have your fellow teachers over for appetizers. The options are endless, and you can be creative with them! Don’t be afraid to be your authentic self. Yes, it might be uncomfortable to invite people to spend time together at first, but you’ll never know what beautiful friendship could begin if you don’t try!
Bonus: If you are really nervous about inviting coworkers to hang out, try hosting a group event instead of a one-on-one hangout. This gives everyone a chance to mingle, and you don’t have to spend all your time with one person. Group events also give you the opportunity to get to know multiple people in one night, without feeling pressure to come up with a long list of things to talk about.
How to Get along with Coworkers that are Difficult
You all know that I’m all about transparency, so I’ll be real with you when I say it’s not always sunshine and rainbows at school. There may come a time where you will encounter coworkers who, for one reason or another, are difficult to work with. These people may be hard to converse with, not give you the time of day, or they might just not be great at communicating. However, this doesn’t have to be something you dread when it happens, because you can be prepared. When encountering this type of situation, communication is absolutely key. It will be very important to respect differences and remain open-minded. Sometimes, you may even have to bite your tongue. Know that these situations happen to everyone at some point, in every workplace, and in every career. You are not alone, and it is ok to feel frustrated. Here’s a few of my best tips to help you manage these less than ideal situations.
Tip #7: Agree to disagree
We’ve all been in a situation there someone says something and right away we are formulating a response in our mind. However, we need to remember that it’s okay to respectfully disagree, with the key word here being respectfully! When you are in a situation like this and you’re experiencing a disagreement, stop and ask yourself these two questions before proceeding:
”Am I disagreeing with this person because I truly feel differently on the subject or is my pride getting in the way, and I simply don’t want them to be right?”
If you haven’t heard me say this before, stop whatever you’re doing right now and process this next question, because this question is so important. It’s simple and straight forward, but so powerful too:
“Is it right for kids?” or “Is it best for students”
This question should be the leading question in every aspect of what you do. At the end of the day, our pride, the disagreement, whatever, none of that matters. What matters is our students. If, at the end of the day, we can say that we are doing what’s best for kids, then nothing else matters!
Tip #8: We’re All Human
Please remember, your colleagues are people too. We truly never know what other people are going through. Yes, some people that we interact with definitely over share, but other people keep their personal issues personal. And that’s okay!. Every single person we interact with throughout the day has other responsibilities and lives outside the school building. We never really know what someone else may be going through; and everyone has off days. Continue practicing open communication to talk through any differences that may arise. Give others the grace and understanding that you yourself would want when you’re having a bad day. If these tactics don’t work, removing yourself from the situation, respectfully, may be the best option.
We have to remember though; the devil resides in all of us. He wants us to have off days. He wants us to be mean and be little others. We are better than that though. Whenever Someone says something that seems off putting or rude, take a deep breath, and choose to see the best in them. We get a choice every single day of how we want to respond to situations. We get to choose if we stoop down to their level or we can choose to, “Get better, not bitter.” Let’s make an active choice to get better. I know that colleague who’s already feeling down or off, will appreciate your grace and kindness!
Tip #9: Get Advice From a Trusted Colleague
If there are extenuating circumstances surrounding a situation with a difficult colleague, and you feel like you’ve tried everything and there are no other options; now is the time to reach out to another coworker that you trust for advice. This could be your admin, a team lead, another teacher, or maybe even the school counselor. Be cautious when selecting someone to talk to about this situation; make sure it is someone you can confide in and will keep what you tell them private. You absolutely do not want to confide in someone who is going to start rumors or more drama for you. When seeking advice from another, consider focusing your points on facts and how you feel, as opposed to making accusations. Be professional and concise, and give your colleague the chance to share how they’re feeling as well. Again, open communication is key and sometimes, if needed, a moderator can be very helpful in resolving conflicts and helping you have that open dialog to work through what you’re going through.
Final Thoughts!
If you take one thing away from this post today, remember this: both you and your colleagues became teachers for the same core reasons: to serve your students and to make a masting impact. I truly hope that nobody reading this is ever in a situation in which you’re not getting along with a coworker, but if you ever feel like you’re heading down that path, be sure to open up and being that communication right away. Be willing to give their ideas a try and work together. You are a team, after all, and good things always have an opportunity to blossom when given a little TLC.
I really do just want to remind you to try to see the best in people, to give them the benefit of the doubt, and to make an effort to foster positive relationships with the people you work with. Teaching is hard, and we cannot do it on our own. Having a ‘school fam’ is a beautiful thing that I hope each and every one of you are able to experience throughout your teaching journey.
As always, if you ever need anything, please reachout to me; I am always just a message away!
I want this platform to serve a community in which we can all share our voices and get the support we need. Just as you’re there to serve your students, I am also always here to serve you.
Talk to you soon,
-Kayla
FIRST YEAR TEACHER SUPPORT PODCAST
How do you feel about podcasts? I’ll admit, I wasn’t super into them at first either. However, once I realized the impact they can make, I was hooked.
I have a First Year Teacher Series Podcast that is streaming on all platforms. Through this podcast, have had the incredible opportunity to interview first year teachers during their first few months in the classroom, share teaching tips, lessons, ideas, and so much more!
And guess what, I release a new episode every Wednesday! Whether you’re driving to school, driving to the gym, or folding some laundry at home, this podcast is surely one you do not want to miss as you begin your new teaching journey.
